What I’m Listening To, part 1


The way these posts work is, I’m going to post the lyrics with my thoughts in between the lines like this.


Garbage – Empty

I’ve been feeling so frustrated
I’ll never be as great as I want to be


I really want to be great at [something?] video games but I really don’t think it’s ever going to happen.


Everyone that I run into
The ones you always seem so into
What’s wrong with me?


How come you’re not as into me as you are them?  Am I just not good enough for you?  Why do I like you more than you like me?  Pisses me off so much that no matter what I do I’m just not good enough for you.


They all seem to know exactly what it is they want
They pass me, they smile as they go
So I work at staying patient
Good things come to those that wait
Or so they say


Other than a husband and a quiet life with him, I really don’t know what it is I want.  Maybe some sesame chicken?  I dunno.


I’m so empty
You’re all I’m thinking about, about
Oh oh, about, about
Oh oh oh, about, about
Oh oh oh, about, about


I feel so empty with out you.  You’re all I can think about sometimes.  Where are you love?  I wish it was here with me.  Empty empty empty.  So empty.


I get tired of trying
Ideas die on the vine


I think this blog is the first idea I’ve had in a long time that I like and that I’ve bothered to stick with.  Everything else other people have just shit all over which discouraged me from even trying or bothering to do what it was I wanted.  This blog at least gives me a voice and an outlet and people can either read it or just not bother me.


And I feel like a fake
I lie awake believing
That somehow I keep failing
I rail and I ache
At the monsters and the demons
I’ve wrestled with for eons
And I want to destroy


Sometimes the anger just wells up inside and I’m so filled with rage I really want to hit something or someone but I don’t.  I just bottle it up.  I feel sorry for the poor sod who pulls out that cork.


I’m so empty
You’re all I talk about
Oh oh oh, about
You’re all I talk about

Every day, every hour of the night
You’re all I think about
Every day, every hour of the night
You’re all I dream about
Every day, every hour of the night
You’re all I think about
You’re all I think about

I’m so empty
I’m so empty
I’m so empty
You’re all I’m thinking about
About, about, oh oh oh, about
I’m so empty


I think about you a lot.  I just wish that I could find you, or, if it’s who I think it is, I wish you were here instead of where you are.


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Relationships, part 8

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What I’m Playing, part 1